A Letter to my Son

Dear Precious Son,
Someday when you are older you will hear people use the phrase, "love at first sight." As is all too unfortunate in our cynical world, what you will most likely hear them say is that no such thing exists. Please consider this the first time that I will, as your mother, tell you not to listen to these people, to instead stay positive and open to possibility that anything can happen, and usually does.
The day I met your daddy was such a day. Within minutes I felt warm in his presence. At the end of of our time together I knew that something, something important, was happening to me. In the days that followed I chided myself for falling so suddenly, so completely and totally for someone I'd just met. After all, how could I love someone so much, someone I hardly even knew?
As we move every closer to the day when you will arrive, I know now that there was a reason for the way your daddy and I came to be, a reason that God or fate or destiny directed me to fall in love with someone I hardly knew... it was so that later on, I would know how to fall in love someone I'd never even met. You. However, I feel I already know you and will love the many millions of little things I am to learn about you.
Every day I go into your little nursery, turn on the lights, and straighten it up just as I will when you arrive. The room is empty, but when I walk by it ever so often and see the warm glow that comes from within, I can feel that your spirit is already there. I go through your drawers and fold and re-fold your tiny sleepers, lovingly smoothing each one as I go. I am so anxious to meet you, to hold your tiny hand, to kiss your little face, and hold you close to me. I have never in my life desired to do anything more than I do now, just to be your Mommy, and to love you and all the things about you unconditionally.
I feel you move inside me and instead of the tiny flutters you made only months ago, you know command the space of my entire belly, my strong, strong, little boy. And it moves me. In those moments my heart hurts, I can barely breathe, I love you so much.
We have never met you, and yet your daddy and I would do anything, give everything, if it meant that you would be happy and healthy.
Someday you may stumble upon this blog and read all the complaining I've done. You'll read about how even my maternity clothes are too small, how I'm holding more water than a desert camel, how my right (and now my left!) ribs have dislocated to make more room for you in my small framework. But I want you to know that it has been worth all of it. I would do it over a thousand times, a thousand times worse, just to bring you home with us.
We love you, my son. Can't wait to meet you!
Your Mommy